Musings

Sunday's Sermon about the brevity of life and it's unexpected changes convicted me. I left Church so motivated for this week. I was going to try to spend every day like it could be my last....have things in order, house tidy, accomplishments everywhere. Be thoughtful about the way I interact with my Lord, husband, and children. The wife and mother I want to be began to emerge in my thoughts as a beautiful and inspiring force to behold. Some of my mind-chart toppers: Industrious, kind, thoughtful, gentle, industrious, diligent, disciplined, industrious. Ah. There is my problem. I am lazy. When I speak of laziness, I don't actually mean that I never accomplish anything. The circumstances of my life (the two little kidlets and no dishwasher) prohibit that. What I am praying for (and noticing I lack) is a mindset of industry. To plan, to achieve, to be joyful and content in my work. To come to my household with enthusiasm. Jonathan Edwards said (when speaking of good time-man...

In Exodus 19 and 20, Moses preserves the account of how God engulfed Mount Sinai in smoke so the people could not see Him. They were so afraid they begged Moses to deal with Jehovah for them...Yet in 12 Chapters they decide to make a golden calf to worship. This stuns me. I try to wonder how long Moses could have been up there...I wonder what it would be like to be so constantly aware of the natural revelations of the Almighty's power (the Pillar of Cloud, and Fire, the crossing of the Red Sea, the Water out of the rock) that a mountain engulfed, with God speaking out of it, wouldn't really phase me for that long. Then I realize I do this all the time. The big, obvious things that God asks of me are so easily forgotten that it boggles the imagination. I can't see the forest for all the trees. I forget to set aside time with the Lord, to purpose to pray, to plan to do good to my family...I end up skating through the day...Please pray for me as I prioritize and schedule thes...

Friday night...after five days of being ill, I became desperate enough to call a nurse's hot line (at the urging of my sweet and loving husband). After a description of my symptoms, she urged me to see a physician within 24 hours. Thus Saturday morning was planned out. I left the children with said loving husband, and decided to wear jeans (instead of my ultra cute pajama pants- understanding that I may be there for some time, at which point cuteness would not belay the embarrassment of 12:00), but to fore go the makeup....it was 9:30 at a WALK IN CLINIC, for crying out loud. There was a line all the way to the door when I arrived, thirty minutes after opening. Attempting to be unobtrusive, I considerately stood on the opposite side of the door from the lady with the seven-month old. I suppose it proves my mental and physical state that I didn't even notice the lights go out, much less that I supported myself against the light switch. Nor was I discountenanced when the nurse up...