Musings

I am now nineteen weeks along! So thankful for this little life that God is sustaining inside of me. We are slowly getting back into the swing of things, and I am having to calm down about the state of things. I am SO tired. My midwife says that it will take a little bit of time to regain my stamina after being on bedrest. This last week I was able to go on some walks. I have been mostly making dinner, and have even washed some dishes! School with Gabriel is going...but just at a rustier pace than I would prefer. In other news, my kids argue about what apologist/pastor to listen to (Gabriel prefers John MacArthur, and Abigail adamantly defends James White), and we are working on being kind to each other. Hannah is able to say a few more words, which are adorable. I love my family, and am so thankful for them. Please pray that I won't get too overwhelmed and stressed about everything. I love all you Aunties who remember me!

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:5-7 ESV This is the deepest cry of my heart. I know that it must be important to you too! I read these words, and inspiration swells like an orchestral piece in my mind. How, today, I will live devotionally so my children will see how I love my Creator and Redeemer, and how I will teach them to as well. Then they rise…and a lovely chaos ensues…all thoughts pertaining to anything other than food, clothing, tidying, breakfast, and the order of the day try to flee. We have different strategies for coping with these distractions. I am guessing that you have some sort of Bible time routine with your children, or that they attend AWA...

Emotionally, I have never been here before.  I have had to sit around, watching everything degenerate,unable to do anything about it. Unable to do anything, actually. There are several difficult parts about this. The actual physical aspect of it, feeling sick, sitting around. The emotional aspect. It is hard for me to be such a taker. To actually ask people to bring us meals, or watch my kids, or babysit me! This is really been weird because it wars with my pride on multiple planes. But the most humbling aspect of all this has been the outpouring (and I mean FLOOD-like), of prayers by the saints on behalf of our Baby. On behalf of me. When I didn't know if I was losing this baby, when I didn't know HOW I should feel about it, so many people called, texted, and emailed reassurances that they are praying for me. This threw me into an awareness of how Godless I can really be. There are so many things I don't pray for as I ought, and I think I am learning that...a bit. ...

This morning I went to have another ultrasound to see what is going on. The fabulous news is that our baby is growing really well (they even upped my due date two days)! Here is what our sweet little jellybean looks like now, around two and a half inches: The Lab tech also saw what is called a perigestational hemorrhage that has increased in size over the last six weeks. The increase has only been by a couple millimeters, but the fact that there is blood visible in the same spot (just above my cervix) as six weeks ago concerned the tech. It is even more of a concern to my midwife. I am a little unclear on what this actually is. My understanding is that it is common, but should have healed up by now. Charlotte's concern is that if I bleed, it can cause contractions and possibly cause a more serious abruption to the placenta. While I am not consigned to bedrest, I am still supposed to take it easy for several more weeks....

Like many of you, I had only heard of placental abruption (when the placenta tears away) in the second and third trimesters. When my midwife diagnosed me with this at 10 weeks, I did what all pregnant Mamas do. Opened up my search engine, and called friends who had been pregnant, miscarried, or were "in the know." Just as a point of information, the placenta is an organ that is created during pregnancy, and acts as a go-between for me and the baby. It provides all the nutrients for the baby for the entire forty weeks, and in a few more weeks will completely take over hormone regulation so I can stop feeling like I have the stomach flu. It is so amazing, that in many cultures, the new mother eats it after birth. Our modern take on this is encapsulation, which I think is gross. Point of clarification: I don't think encapsulation is gross....I think eating it in any way is gross. MOVING on... Part of this can tear away, causing a significant amount of bleeding, and ...

Persecution distills our devotion to Christ. Reflection upon the current oppression to our brothers and sisters in Syria and other countries gives us a prayerful and content attitude almost immediately. It causes serious pursuit of eternal matters, and appreciation for our “great cloud of witnesses.” Some of these witnesses were persecuted for their beliefs and convictions. One group is termed “Puritans.” Originally a negative term, these people were cast out of their congregations for not conforming to the Book of Common Prayer issued by the English government in the 17 th century. Many of these Godly pastors wrote. And wrote. And wrote. And much of their writing, spurred by a deep commitment to an accurate understanding of Scripture, is very edifying and thoughtful. With a rediscovery of these men in recent years, it can become overwhelming to determine which puritans to read, and how much coffee one will need to follow the archaic language! Many words (like ‘religion’) the...

I love the family that God has given me. I love the challenge of creating domestic bliss out of chaos (Or at least managing the chaos down to a low ebb)whether it be menu planning, curricula planning, or chore planning. I love knowing that these things glorify God according to what He said in Titus 2. There is an eternality about the mundane, and all parents need that reminder sometimes. There is an enormous heaven focus in our mindset when it comes to training and teaching the children that the Lord has given to us. I know what our goals are, yet in the trenches I am apt to forget. The opportunity to point my child toward a greater understanding of the Savior, and their need for Him is a BLESSED interruption, not just an annoying attempt to derail my schedule. Ginger Plowman reminded me of this in her book Don’t Make Me Count to Three! A Mom’s Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline . Mrs. Plowman divides her 12 chapter text into three subheadings: Reaching the Heart of Your Child, B...